Mayday Parade, baby!

I just recently discovered Mayday Parade on Purevolume.com (if you haven't noticed, I kind of like that website). You would actually be surprised at how many artists that I find on that site. You can download a few songs as a preview. Among a few other bands, there are Farewell, Number One Gun, School Boy Humor, and Jet Lag Gemini. They are really good. I haven't really posted on this site in a really, really long time since I got a different account. I like my other one better because I am not as restricted on that one. On the other one, I can talk about anything anytime I want, because it isn't related to the school, I guess. I don't know. My other account is a little more in depth. I have certain pages that will always be available because I make them that way!

World of Warcraft and All of The Racial Divisions

Even though I do not play, I find World Of Warcraft very, very cool. I just usually watch Rampage play because I don't have it at my house. I am trying to get all of the races straight, because I don't have it all down yet. The Night Elves are the best, next to the humans. There are also dwarfs, and...something else, I couldn't understand what Rampage said just now. But I do know that if you are on the Horde side, you can be a Blood Elf, an undead, Taurin (a cow), an Orc (as in Lord of the Rings I think), and troll. Back to the good side... and then there are gnomes and Draeneis, which are like wierd looking. Star Warsish...with hooves. Got it? I do now. I just thought I would share, even though Winged Ham Ham already knew this. Peace, peeps.

*Sigh*

Well, what can I say? My day was amazing until I started talking to rampage and we were talking about Photographer. I just want to push him from my mind because all he does nowadays is irritate me...and it's irritating...which is really redundant, but whatever. I just really wish I could do something about it, but I don't have the heart to. I just don't. I will say, however, that my day, aside from him, was amazing. People were just really amicable today, and my friend played Lynyrd Skynyrd's (I have no idea if I spelled it right) "Simple Man" and it was amazing. I've only ever heard the Shinedown rendition of the song, but I love it, music, lyrics, and vocals and all. It's pretty amazing. It makes me smile. Which, is a big deal.

New Blog!

My teacher informed me about a new database, so I am trying that one out peeps! I haven't done anything to it yet, so don't even think about asking me for a link, because I will post it when the blog has substantial bloggage, as tigerspwn would say. Anyway, peace out.

CXS

English Class

We are reading poetry in English. I hate it, and that's putting it mildly. I feel that poetry is too restricting to my writing style and I can't rhyme to save my life. Anyway. All these poets talk about is death. Wow. I really don't find anyone's fascination with death. Okay, maybe I do, but I would get pretty depressed if all I wrote about was death. Why not write about life, and all of its possibilities? Life is just as mysterious as death. But, the only thing that sets it apart is the fact that you live life with other people. I think that is what is really irritating me. The fact that my teacher and classmates keep talking about how people die alone. Everyone dies alone. No one can die with you. It is a solitary journey that you have face by yourself. No one can die for you. The class to which I am tired of because they are so irritating, also said that it wasn't comforting that death was inevitable. IT SHOULD BE COMFORTING! IT COMFORTS ME! It happens to everyone, it is concrete. What happens afterward may not be, but it can't be that hard. Trillions of people have died before us. People need to get over their fears, because they are just hiding and this is not a monster that will ignore you. It will hear you heartbeat as you hide behind your bravado and openness. And it will claim you nonetheless.

Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities

Current Music: "Remedy for Love" School Boy Humor

Okay, I fully intend pursuing my writing as a career. One of my choices is the Governor's School, which lends its name to this post. It has many, many upsides. I will be able to spend more time on my writing, and I will get the input of other writers, and my music selection will widen without the censorship of my parents. But is all of that worth leaving behind what I love. I told a friend who is having this same dilemma: "Do not let anything, or anyone get in the way of your dream." I dream of being a published author, and I think about my advice and it makes me sound like a hypocrite because I am letting people be an obstacle in the way of my dream. I don't know if I could leave all of my friends that I have now to pursue something that may not work out later in life. They say that some things are a one time chance, and I wonder if this is one of those times. I know that I can get in, it's not a question. Not to boast, or be prideful, but I can write. I want to, and maybe I need to find something else. I don't know what to do, people. I need help.

Unexpected

Okay, this is totally unprecedented. Right now, I am listening to The Starting Lines' "Bedroom Talk" courtesy of a certain someone who sits beside me in a certain class. I was surprised that I would actually like this kid. He's just so cool!!! Anyway, I just felt like talking about how unexpected life is. For example, last week, my mother and I were pulling out and we got in a car accident. It really put into perspective that saying Carpe Diem. It really bugged me, that little escapade, but it made me appreciate life, even though it wasn't really a near death experience. It's hard to explain, that feeling that life is so new, so fresh like that piece of paper that a writer sits before, trying to portray their thoughts onto through the ink of their pen, and the words of their heart. Like autumn. That cycle before death, that life that you know only has a limited time. People don't realize that we only have a limited time. Eighty years may not seem like a limited amount of time, but even now to me, a teen, it really is limited, and I fully intend to press my life to the limit...without doing drugs or getting thrown in jail. You can still have fun without breaking the law.

More Photographer...Surprise, Surprise.

Yeah, so everyone knows who photographer is, and if you don't then you don't know me. I want to tell you about him. And what he did for me today. Well, we will call my ex-boyfriend Aviator, referring to his car and a horrible conversation we had last year about the car. Anyway, he just got another car and he was trying to get me to go see it and Photographer saved me! And then he said something really wierd about Aviator being madly in love with me, and I laughed and said, "Hilarious!" And Photographer is like, "I could be madly in love with you." And then he said something else, and I didn't catch it because one of his friends was talking to him and I was mad, but decided not to pursue the subject, because I really didn't want to show I was interested. Because that would be bad.

Mobilize

This is for the people who care what happens to this country. This website was given to me by someone I know, so I checked it out. I recommend that you go and check this out! It's www.mobilize.org. And if the URL is messed up from this page, go type it in yourself, because I don't know if it will work from my page. But, yeah, it's really interesting and I'm actually going to go look at it some more, but I thought y'all should know!

The So-Called Land of the Free

My teacher told our class about the kid who got tazered at the John Edwards campaign thing. Then, the teacher said something about our generation needing to turn around, and I just thought, You have no idea. It's really scary, because I don't want to have kids in this world. This United States of America is not what it used to be, and I didn't have to live over ninety years to notice that. I'm not stupid. I see that our country is deteriorating. And that scares me, because I want the next generation to see what's really great about their country, but chances are that their parents are going to spend about half of their lives high on some drug, and they won't see what this country once had to offer. We studied civilizations and a teacher showed us the pattern of the world. A civilization with reach its pinnacle, and soon after it will fall. The good ol' US of A has been around for a while. This country is little over three hundred years old. Can you see the pattern?

Want To Read Some Of My Writing?

Okay, if you know me, and have been curious about my writing, I now have a second blog for you to look at. If you want the URL, you can approach me at school, and I will give you the URL. But, do not under any circumstance give this URL away without my permission. You know what, just don't to it at all because I have a bad temper.

CXS

Music: Why Have I Not Posted About It Before?

"Music is my muse." This quote is from my favorite author, Kim Harrison and I find it completely applicable to me. I can relate almost everything back to a song that I've heard. I love music, like alot. It always depends on my mood what I want to listen to, but there are a few that I will listen to every day any day. And they are...

The Used
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Switchfoot
Josh Groban (of course)
From First To Last
My Chemical Romance
Hinder

And I really love it when people introduce me to new music. Especially when it's the kind that my dad can't oppose, because people know that I can't listen to certain music that contains certain words that lead to a certain black and white label on the cover. If you catch my drift. Like right now, at this very moment, I am listening to "Dancing With the Wind" by Days of the New, an absolutely wonderful song that is so intense, that I could listen to it a million times and never get tired of it. I need to figure out how to upload an audio clip so you can hear the song, because it is the best!
Especially when I am writing, I love to listen to music, because certain words, certain sounds can trigger a small flow of inspiration that makes me want to scream with happiness. I normally listen to Underoath when I write, because the screaming and amazing music just stimulate my writer's thoughts. Although, sometimes I think that all I think about is writing...

"Music is my muse." --Kim Harrison

School and The Back Problems Associated With It

My backpack is so heavy that it pains me. And then, when you are sitting down at school, the seats are so not ergonomic, and it's cold, so I have had a cold since the second week of school and I think we are now on the fifth. Anyway. School is so stressful that it is killing my skin. I sound like a prep when I say that, but it is so true. My complexion is straight up horrible, and it ticks me off, because over the summer, my skin was the excellent porcelain white that it normally is and now it looks like someone took a needle and poked me in random places. And, to top it all, I am so tired that I fall asleep amongst the ENORMOUS pile of homework that I have EVERY NIGHT. And on top of all of that I am freaking out about what college will accept me and I think I am going to breakdown and cry. Well, I think that's mostly it, not to mention the emotional implications of the social life that school imposes. You know, people may complain about having no friends, but sometimes, some of us wish we didn't have any. I don't know. I'm moaning about problems that are trivial compared to the rest of the world's problems with peace and hunger. My friend keeps telling me that everyone has the right to complain, but I still feel like crap afterwards.

Did I Say That Life Sucks?

I lied. I straight up lied to y'all. And that's great! My photographer has just made me the happiest person in the world, and I will tell you why. He proved himself to be not what I thought he was. And he likes Gothic kinky girls, of which I am neither, but I am pretty close to the former aren't I? Wow, it puts a smile on my face, but I will tell you one thing that take a smile off of my face is yearbook. I hate it. I have to plug in a whole two baseball layouts in less than two days, and it is making me slightly homicidal. That' s right. Not suicidal, homicidal. Although, photographer's little comment made my life better.

Life Sucks

I really hate life right now. My AP class is so hard and there is a robotics meeting tonight, and I think it's mandatory, but I really really do not want to go right now, that's how put out I feel. I still haven't finished Obsidian Butterfly and it's driving me crazy. It's only 585 pages long and it's taking me like 2 weeks to read it. I am so irritated. Well, I will see you later.


cxs

B.P. (Before Photographer)

Anyway. Graduation seems really close now and it's scary. I think it seems really close because my friend (We'll call him Photographer for online's sake) is a senior this year and he's going to graduate! I can't think of a time B.P. and it's kind of wierd to think of a time without him. It just makes me really sad. He's going to be sitting in the crowd at the senior slideshow, and I will be sitting with the underclassmen yearbookers, crying. It's really hard to think of a time without him, because I've spent almost two hours a day with him. I really don't want to think about it, so I'm signing off.

CXS

CXS's Conflicts

Okay, so I definitely know what to do with my life. I want to write, that much is certain, but who can guarantee that I will actually make a career out of it? No one, except myself, and that really all depends on my skill. I undermine myself with my writing to improve myself, but I don't know how well that's going. I think I want to go to college, but it's kind of expensive, and what if my writing does work? What if I go to college and waste the money when I am writing and not using my degree? I don't know. Graduation is two years away, and that is really starting to get to me. I think I will be really sad when I graduate, because I probably won't see about 300 of the people I know ever again. I see my parents looking through their yearbooks talking about people. They don't talk to these people. Everyone they knew has a family and they haven't seen them. (Obviously. We are about 800 miles away from our hometown.) That really scares me because I rely on some of my friends to keep me going. I am normally an idependent person, you know? But, some of these friends are what make me want to get me up in the morning. I don't know what I will do without them. Let's cross this bridge when we come to it, shall we?

Motivation

I was looking over my favorite authors' websites and I saw that they kenw each other and actually had a picture together and I was like wow, this really makes me want to get published just so I can have the opportunity to meet them, you know?

I don't know, it's really difficult to keep going on a novel even when you're almost done with it. It's like moving towards the end of a week at school. The end of a very long, very boring week. You become more and more tired each day, and move slower and slower as you try to get up to get in the shower. Not that writing isn't fun. Because I love it. But you eventually exhaust your story line, or at least I do and it is really frustrating. People say they like my writing or whatever, but that just puts pressure on me to actually work to finish a complete manuscript.

I think I am a little mature for my writing genre, but it's really, really tough to try and write for like the teen genre. When you are trying to write for a teen audience, it's like you are limiting yourself, because the teens won't exactly be able to take everything. It wouldn't be satisfying to write for teens anyway because half of them don't even read. It's only the ones who want to further their reach that actually read. And I am the oddball, because I don't read teen novels. I skipped from children's right to adults. Like, I'm not even kidding. When I was in 5th grade, I had already hit the teen genre and by the time I was in 7th I had discovered the adult novels.

I just find teen novels very boring. For one, it was rare when you could find a vampire book with a teen narrator. For another, they were usually bland and uninteresting because God forbid that they add some REAL LIFE consequences in there. I mean really. No one would die in those novels. It may be harsh, but people die. I don't really think anyone grasps that concept. People will die when they are fighting something. That goes for real stuff too. Did they think that the soldiers in Iraq would all come home safe?

I need to stop because I am completely off topic and I don't even remember what I had started with.

This One Is For Rae Rae.

I don't think I have told y'all about my best friend. Well, obviously, she is my best friend. She has blond hair and blue eyes and gauged ears because she's just wierd like that. She likes gory movies and death metal...I think just because she can. It makes me laugh. I think we're such good friends because we have been through alot of the same crap and we don't act like each other's mothers. We always have each other's back; I would beat the crap out of anyone who insulted Rachel, and she would do the same for me. But, we never let each other do it, because we don't want to get arrested or suspended, because then we wouldn't be able to hang out. Yeah, those are our amazing priorities. But, yeah. We are definitely best friends and we will always have each other's backs.

Ice Skating With My BFFL

Okay, so, here is what I got from ice skating:
1) A cut on my arm from when Rae rae's blade cut me when she fell on top of me (my fault really; I can't ice skate)
2) A really sore leg from my second fall
3)laughed at because I couldn't stay on my feet.
4) An odd sense of closeness with Rae rae.

That had to be one of the funnest experiences of my life, I am telling you. I have never really had so much fun. Rae rae kept trying to get me to let go of the wall...so I grabbed her hand and eventually it turned purple because I had a death grip on her. I got pretty good...until I flipped out and decided to stop. I couldn't feel my nose or my arm, because Rae Rae got me pretty good. Then, all three of them (Rae's sister and her friend) ganged up on me to get me away from the wall. That was just flat out mean. And then these really cute guys showed up and I was really not wanting to embarass myself in front of them so I stopped. Rae Rae just had to give me her pouty face so I got back out there again. What did I learn from all of this?

That I have no center of gravity whatsoever.

Irritating People

Okay, I have so much pent up irritation that I have to say something. I wore Hollister to school for the first time today and some girl who hangs out with my friends started yelling at me. Calling me all this wierd stuff like traitor, and a 'Holly' or someone who wore Hollister. And that really bothered me. Not that she was calling me names, but that she thinks that her opinion matters to me. I want people to know that I dress how I please, and that you are entitled to your opinion. But I also want you to know that I don't care. Honestly, if you have something to say, don't say it, because sometimes my temper gets the better of me and you don't want to be on the recieving end of that. But, yeah, that was really irritating. I just hope she doesn't do it again. I need to focus on school without all these other distractions.

My Writing

This is for Winged Ham Ham, because she was reading something and I want her to understand... That little short story is from a novel that I am currently working on and the male character is my favorite. I have never really liked my characters (especially not my main one) but this guy is amazing. He is everything I would want...plus or minus a few attributes that no one in this current reality could have. Haha. Anyway, yes I hate the main character, Ham Ham, but I love the guy that is with her. He is the coolest ever. Now, I will let you read the rest of the story tomorrow, because you will know everything you ever wanted to about my favorite character.

Lately

So...haven't really posted in while. What has happened lately...hmm. Well, I am officially addicted to a character by the name of Anita Blake. She was created by Laurell K. Hamilton, and aside from the screwed up personal life, I would love to be Anita. She works with the police, carries all the weapons she wants, raises the dead, not mention has hot vampire boyfriends... Ha. My life isn't that exotic, which really is a bummer. I would love a hot vampire boyfriend any day. Especially if he looks like Jean-Claude. I swear, that Anita Blake comic series is going to kill me, because it is turning the first novel into a series of 12 graphic novels and the artwork is absolutely amazing. I wish I was able to draw like that. I am actually going to post some samples. The first edition is in hardcover and it cost me 20.00 but it was the best buy ever. Anyway, if I could be any character that I read about, Anita Blake would be it, so read the Laurell K. Hamilton Anita Blake, vampire hunter series. It's my daily dose of out of this world fantasy.

TO: Wingedhamham

You have a hilarious blog. I was laughing so hard when I read it and I was overwhelmed because I really don't have time right now to comment on all of your hilarious posts. My favorite is the fat moments one. I already told you I know exactly I mean.

My Homies

This is for my friends whom I love immensely. I think that they know how much I appreciate them, but this is to confirm that they ROCK MY SOCKS OFF! (Not literally.) But yeah, I love you guys, even though half of you will never read this, it makes me feel really good to tell y'all how cool you guys are!

Love,
CurbxStomp

School

Okay, so I definitely love school, like a total nerd. But, I do hate school because you have to get up so early. I love learning new things...if I'm awake enough to learn them. History is so interesting because you learn things that influence our societies today, and I find it awesome. I also love yearbook staff because you get to interact with your school, just like being on a sports team...and it looks really good on your college transcript.

The Videos

Okay, these are Thirty Seconds To Mars videos. Choose the completely black one because that is the best version of the song The Kill. Enjoy!

Thirty Seconds To Mars

Okay, I posted the videos because I love Jared Leto and Thirty Seconds to Mars! They are amazing. Both of the cds they have released blew my mind. You should give them a try.

More Novels That I Recommend

Okay, let's see, what other books do I like... Well, the Rachel Morgan series by Kim Harrison is amazing. Um, I love John Grisham, and some Michael Crichton. Kelley Armstrong's Women of the Otherworld series is really good too. I really like the supernatural kind of stuff, so that's why Kim and Kelley; also, if you have the stomach for vampire novels with absolutely no boundaries, I recommend Laurell K. Hamilton. And, of course, I am a complete Harry Potter junkie. Anyway, I need book recommendations, because I keept reading my Laurell K. Hamilton's over and over again.

Novels

Okay, there definitely have to be some people out there that read books. I can't be the only one. And, if you are a reader, please, please, please! read the novel The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. In the movie, 10 Things I Hate About You the main character was reading it and I recently found it and it is AMAZING! So, I highly recommend it.

Newbie

This blog thing is like, so new, but kind of fun. I think I will keep up with it even after it's not required. I don't usually do a lot of stuff online, but this I may continue with.