The So-Called Land of the Free

My teacher told our class about the kid who got tazered at the John Edwards campaign thing. Then, the teacher said something about our generation needing to turn around, and I just thought, You have no idea. It's really scary, because I don't want to have kids in this world. This United States of America is not what it used to be, and I didn't have to live over ninety years to notice that. I'm not stupid. I see that our country is deteriorating. And that scares me, because I want the next generation to see what's really great about their country, but chances are that their parents are going to spend about half of their lives high on some drug, and they won't see what this country once had to offer. We studied civilizations and a teacher showed us the pattern of the world. A civilization with reach its pinnacle, and soon after it will fall. The good ol' US of A has been around for a while. This country is little over three hundred years old. Can you see the pattern?

Want To Read Some Of My Writing?

Okay, if you know me, and have been curious about my writing, I now have a second blog for you to look at. If you want the URL, you can approach me at school, and I will give you the URL. But, do not under any circumstance give this URL away without my permission. You know what, just don't to it at all because I have a bad temper.

CXS

Music: Why Have I Not Posted About It Before?

"Music is my muse." This quote is from my favorite author, Kim Harrison and I find it completely applicable to me. I can relate almost everything back to a song that I've heard. I love music, like alot. It always depends on my mood what I want to listen to, but there are a few that I will listen to every day any day. And they are...

The Used
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Switchfoot
Josh Groban (of course)
From First To Last
My Chemical Romance
Hinder

And I really love it when people introduce me to new music. Especially when it's the kind that my dad can't oppose, because people know that I can't listen to certain music that contains certain words that lead to a certain black and white label on the cover. If you catch my drift. Like right now, at this very moment, I am listening to "Dancing With the Wind" by Days of the New, an absolutely wonderful song that is so intense, that I could listen to it a million times and never get tired of it. I need to figure out how to upload an audio clip so you can hear the song, because it is the best!
Especially when I am writing, I love to listen to music, because certain words, certain sounds can trigger a small flow of inspiration that makes me want to scream with happiness. I normally listen to Underoath when I write, because the screaming and amazing music just stimulate my writer's thoughts. Although, sometimes I think that all I think about is writing...

"Music is my muse." --Kim Harrison

School and The Back Problems Associated With It

My backpack is so heavy that it pains me. And then, when you are sitting down at school, the seats are so not ergonomic, and it's cold, so I have had a cold since the second week of school and I think we are now on the fifth. Anyway. School is so stressful that it is killing my skin. I sound like a prep when I say that, but it is so true. My complexion is straight up horrible, and it ticks me off, because over the summer, my skin was the excellent porcelain white that it normally is and now it looks like someone took a needle and poked me in random places. And, to top it all, I am so tired that I fall asleep amongst the ENORMOUS pile of homework that I have EVERY NIGHT. And on top of all of that I am freaking out about what college will accept me and I think I am going to breakdown and cry. Well, I think that's mostly it, not to mention the emotional implications of the social life that school imposes. You know, people may complain about having no friends, but sometimes, some of us wish we didn't have any. I don't know. I'm moaning about problems that are trivial compared to the rest of the world's problems with peace and hunger. My friend keeps telling me that everyone has the right to complain, but I still feel like crap afterwards.

Did I Say That Life Sucks?

I lied. I straight up lied to y'all. And that's great! My photographer has just made me the happiest person in the world, and I will tell you why. He proved himself to be not what I thought he was. And he likes Gothic kinky girls, of which I am neither, but I am pretty close to the former aren't I? Wow, it puts a smile on my face, but I will tell you one thing that take a smile off of my face is yearbook. I hate it. I have to plug in a whole two baseball layouts in less than two days, and it is making me slightly homicidal. That' s right. Not suicidal, homicidal. Although, photographer's little comment made my life better.

Life Sucks

I really hate life right now. My AP class is so hard and there is a robotics meeting tonight, and I think it's mandatory, but I really really do not want to go right now, that's how put out I feel. I still haven't finished Obsidian Butterfly and it's driving me crazy. It's only 585 pages long and it's taking me like 2 weeks to read it. I am so irritated. Well, I will see you later.


cxs

B.P. (Before Photographer)

Anyway. Graduation seems really close now and it's scary. I think it seems really close because my friend (We'll call him Photographer for online's sake) is a senior this year and he's going to graduate! I can't think of a time B.P. and it's kind of wierd to think of a time without him. It just makes me really sad. He's going to be sitting in the crowd at the senior slideshow, and I will be sitting with the underclassmen yearbookers, crying. It's really hard to think of a time without him, because I've spent almost two hours a day with him. I really don't want to think about it, so I'm signing off.

CXS

CXS's Conflicts

Okay, so I definitely know what to do with my life. I want to write, that much is certain, but who can guarantee that I will actually make a career out of it? No one, except myself, and that really all depends on my skill. I undermine myself with my writing to improve myself, but I don't know how well that's going. I think I want to go to college, but it's kind of expensive, and what if my writing does work? What if I go to college and waste the money when I am writing and not using my degree? I don't know. Graduation is two years away, and that is really starting to get to me. I think I will be really sad when I graduate, because I probably won't see about 300 of the people I know ever again. I see my parents looking through their yearbooks talking about people. They don't talk to these people. Everyone they knew has a family and they haven't seen them. (Obviously. We are about 800 miles away from our hometown.) That really scares me because I rely on some of my friends to keep me going. I am normally an idependent person, you know? But, some of these friends are what make me want to get me up in the morning. I don't know what I will do without them. Let's cross this bridge when we come to it, shall we?